Day 52





Well it has certainly been quite the week and its only Wednesday. Sunday I made the 2 hour there -and- back trek by foot to call my mom and wish her a Happy Birthday. I was trying to think of anyone who has ever walked 2 hours to tell me Happy Birthday,..and I couldn’t think of anyone. She apparently was cooking something delicious and wouldn’t stop talking about it. The  mouthwatering aromas that were filling the house were almost making their way straight through the phone. It was just too much to handle. In my fridge I have olives. tortillas. 3 types of pasta. No sauce. booze. But that aside it was nice to talk to her. Its been a couple of weeks since we had talked so it was long over due. I also tried calling a few other people but hit voice mail and so I headed back to town.

I guess I have to decide whether or not how honest I want this blog to be. Its pretty easy to talk about the food, weather, people I meet, or the funny little stories that happen. But at the same time besides all that is the fact that I did have a life before Spain,…and although sometimes its not as appearant as other times, it I have not left everything behind and its still a very real part of my day to day here in Torrox.

My boyfriend was a special link between that real life and this one Im living now.

This past Sunday night it was decided that we would end our 2.5 year long distance (but still real ) relationship.

It was ended peacefully but of course its impossible to not have feelings. I cried pretty hard, even though its what I want…well that…and I was watching a “Lifetime” movie on TV about a woman who dies of cancer. The feelings of overwhelming sadness were only magnified with my temporarily raging hormonal state of being (special time of month) oh and the chardonnay I guzzled straight from the bottle.

My eyes and face hurt when I woke up the next morning. It was much to my surprise that I had woken up at all. That the world hadn’t ended and the sun was doing what it normally does every day at 8:30am. I was going to live and move on just as the day had done. Thats been my plan ever since, although Im not saying its not complicated still. Stupid things like Facebook help to make things complicated. Do I even need to go there?! Not only is it instantly publicized as if its some news report that I’ve gone from “in relationship” to “single”  which for the person involved- is pretty significant -and its there. Just right there next to the other headlines like

“Last night was crazy. Tequila Tuesday was awesome!” or

” How will I ever finish all my homework, this semester sucks ” or

“Mmm I just ate a nummy hamburger 4 lunch. yay 4 extra pickles!!”.

My breakup is right there on the same level as the tasty hamburger with extra pickles. Great!  Of course then to make it better, your left with the daunting task of going through all those kissy photos and “your the best in the world I love you so much” photos and figure out what to do with them. But thats just FB pouring vinegar into the hole thats in your heart :p

Well. Thats all Im saying about that. For now at least. Just wanted to put it out there and not be shy about how I really feel or tell some bullshit about Spain how is magical and nothing bad ever happens here.

…However the stories of flying unicorns and skittle rainbows in Spain IS true… :p


One thought on “Day 52

  1. Patrick says:

    I’m sorry to hear about your relationship. I can only imagine the feelings of loss when you sever a tie like that. Especially when you’re abroad.

    That said it looks like you are actually having a pretty good time. I’ll have to check in again later. 🙂

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