Day 131

I’ve missed you, it’s been awhile! Sorry I’ve been quiet, you know I get like that sometimes but this time it wasn’t my fault.

The MAC had a little bit of a break down and left me without my music, movies, photos, internet, my SANITY….for a whole good week and a half. Its all better now, but let me tell you it was difficult. Oh not at first. At first I thought it was wonderful. I’m too plugged in anyways and I know it. Yeah it was great, I really felt like I didn’t need any of that technology stuff that it could be sort of romantic and simple to be in my little Spanish town. I thought of Walden pond and was encouraged by “Simplify, simplify, simplify!”

That lasted like 2 days.

Being without my computer (and consequently my Nikon) is like being on a horrible camping trip. There was no sleeping in or under the stars, no bonfires, no junk food, no board games, no skinning dipping, no Coronas, no acoustic guitars. And in what kind of camping trip do you still have to go to work and clean up after yourself?  It was just a lot of me. All the time. Just me. And my thoughts. And my noises. And my silences. All the time.

Ok, I’m being dramatic.

It wasn’t death, but it was still hard! At least it got better towards the end. Lila had figured out I didn’t have credit to call or text her, so she called me, and we went out for tapas one day, and then Manuel my older gay Spanish friend gave me a call too and we went out one night for tapas, chats and smokes. It was really nice to see him, its been awhile, he goes off to the campos to pick olives so he leaves for long periods at a time. Also that night he  gave me a hand carved pumpkin lamp he made. Its beautiful and one of the nicest gifts anyone’s given me. There are little holes poked into it to let the light shine through. The outside is dried pumpkin color….like a rusty earthy orange. Its nice in a natural way,…but I think I’d like to paint it. Perhaps the color of fresh strawberries in the month of June.

Right before I was able to get my computer back I was able to see another friend of mine, who came over to my house for a bit as well. It was nice having the company and a little more life around besides just me and the grandpas outside for a change. I think having company made me realize how alone I make myself sometimes, because it was almost just a little bit weird being around someone else at first. That feeling quickly went away though, almost right way actually because whatever that weird feeling was turned into  happy.

Its been a busy and eventful past month, with Portugal and this past week and what not, and in addition tomorrow I’m off to Madrid for a few days, leaving after school. I’m excited and looking forward to going, but I secretly feel a little tired, partially because I started to get sick a few days ago, but also I’ve done and seen and experienced so much in a relatively  short time my mind body and soul needs some time to soak, digest and process it all a bit. When I don’t do that I get tired.

I also get tired when its getting late and I have to wake up  early to pack my bag because heaven forbid I’d do it the night before. Which would be the case now.

I’ll write again soon. Most likely tomorrow if I can’t fall asleep on bus.

Its good to be back. I’ll see you again shortly.


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