I didn’t realize that this past Friday was the 13th. Apparently it did though. I had been in my usual weekend hotspot- underneath the library stairs, it was nearing 1am, battery about to die and it had started to rain. So when I walked home, and arrived at the foot of my front door, I looked in my wallet expecting to find the key to open the door.
It wasn’t there.
It was a bomb slowly exploding in my head.
Huh? Keys? Huh? Come on….Pockets? Damnit I not wearing pockets. No keys!? Its raining!? Its 1am I got my computer in my hands and no way to get into my house?! FUCKity fuck fuck.
So right as this F bomb is exploding in my head, from the street a bit of a distance away I see the figures of 2 unknown men walk past and one waves and says, “Hola, Esperanza!”
Well at least he knew me whoever he was, so I ran to catch him before he walked off. It was Jose. Jose the gypsy. I swear thats what people call him. Spanish has a weird way of adding and using adjectives to describe people, like oh hey, its skinny Maria, or chubby Jorge, or blonde Lucia or Marcos the dark skinned one. Well I had run into Jose el gitano…and his cousin? (if I’d have to pick an adjective here, I’d say his cousin the tall one) out walking Lola, his dog. The conversation went immediately to my state of panic as I freaked out about my keys to him.
He looks at me all serious and says, “can you calm the fuck down?” “Can you do that?” “I’ll help you but you gotta calm the fuck down.”
OK. fine. I suppose.
All 4 of us, including Lola, circle to the front of the apartment. My apartment is on the street level on the backside, but would be like a second level on the front. I have two small balconies, both have sliding entry doors into the apartment, but have metal door things that were closed in front of the doors. Fortunately for me, there was a nice silver compact parked right underneath one of the balconies. Jose hopped on top of the roof, and Spidermaned his way up the wall and pulled him himself on to one of the balconies, pried open the metal door, and slid the entry door open, successfully breaking into my house, without breaking anything.
I was so relieved, and extremely grateful for his help, I offered both of them to come in. I had the scraps of a steak I ate for dinner still on the plate, gave those to Lola, and then served the guys some wine and offered them each one of the cigarettes I keep for when I go to the radio.
They didn’t stay long, but we got to talking. Jose is a nice guy from what I’ve seen so far. I think he must have been a bit tipsy though, because he started telling me a lot of personal information about himself…like including the fact that no one in town likes to associate with him, and they outcast him…not because he’s gypsy he said, and he’s only half, his dad really liked women he added to that?,…but because he did 10 years in prison. I asked him if he raped or killed children. He said of course not! He only stole some things,…”like avocados…and you know other things like that.”
Well regardless of this mans past, he saved my ass big time, and that means a lot to me. Plus, I had already long eaten my ‘Jesus avocado’…so if he was an avocado thief, I was safe from any potential crime.