Day 218

Alarm: Set
Type: Melody only
Volume: 3
Ringtone: Left Right
Snooze: 5 mins
Frequency: Once

When I rest my head to my pillow each night before I go to sleep, this is what I program into the cellphone that gets tucked away under the pillow next to me. Its the alarm to go off precisely 40 minutes before I need to leave the house for work in the next morning. I always give myself 40 mins allowing time to carry out the leisurely inward battle of waking up and getting out of bed. This normally takes an average of 3 snooze buttons, but experience has taught me that if I don’t comb my hair, just put a sweatshirt over whatever top I already have on, and wear sandals I can snooze 4 times.

And when I wake up my first thoughts are mainly drifts of consciousness between reality and what ever it was I had been dreaming. Sometimes I find myself brushing my teeth in front of the mirror sleepily reliving previous night dream swimming in the ocean and I zone out to the sound of the water coming out of the tap.

I hardly ever wake up anymore and think that, “I’m in Spain!” It’s more,
I don’t want to get out of bed.
…ugghhhh.
I wish someone would make me pancakes for breakfast.
Why is the woman in the apartment above me stomping around like an elephant in heels?!

I think very basic thoughts like these when I wake. But hardly ever that OMG  I’m in Spain.

Why? Because I am in Spain. 218 days later I get that. I feel that. You only think things like that when they seem out of the ordinary. I rarely wake up back at home and think…what I beautiful day to be in Brown County! No. Never. Just doesn’t happen. That doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate where I am, when I am or take note of it. Everyday little things slow me down and make me smile, or something will be said that makes me know I’m not in Wisconsin.

Example:

Random normal day this past week, get home, look down and fumble for my keys and out of the corner of my eye I see a colored blob on my doorstep. I jump back (natural reaction and self-defense mechanism in the event it may be a cockroach) and to my startled relief upon closer inspection I find its the dried out corpse of a small lizard.I stare at it first….looking at the empty shriveled sockets that once housed eyes, and decide to keep it there on my doorstep because in some weird way I like it there. Well on Wednesday, I had gone to visit Miguel at the radio and coming back down when we were finished we passed my house, and I showed him the lizard.

 



How is that called in English?
He asks.
Lizard. I reply.
Yes, this I know, but what kind of lizard? He insists.
I dunno, I’m not really an expert on lizards. Is what I come up with. Lizards are like cars…there are greens ones, fierce ones, fast ones, and Japanese ones. Don’t ask me more than that.

Miguel proceeded to inform me that this was a special lizard and according to Torrox legend (ready?…) these certain lizards will spit on your head and make your hair fall out.

Not exactly a Wisconsin thing to think. That was a Spain, or Torrox moment rather. Other moments that used to be ‘Spain’ or ‘Torrox’ moments are now just moments. Stores close at 2pm? Take a nap. There are horses in the street? Watch out for shit. The buses are late? Bring a book. No internet? Life continues. Saturday night no plans? Take a walk.

This is my life now. I do life things like wake up, work, talk to neighbors, eat tapas, hang out in pj’s, and also I have friends now. It’s taken a bit, but  life is coming together and is very comfortable and normal almost. Normal and with routine. Thats how people are though, creatures of habit and routine. Sure its always good to add spice to life,…but I have my routine.

Will have my routine, for officially 6 more weeks to the day. Knowing that is just enough to want to shake me out of my routine.

I think sometimes you just know. Well, maybe I shouldn’t speak for you. Sometimes I know. I’m actually pretty good at knowing, when my time is up, and when I’m ready to move on. Its often a feeling, either of accomplishment or dissatisfaction. If a place, or a city or a situation isn’t working and I’ve given it an honest go….I gotta take my experiences, and lessons learned and keep forward. Put in that same situation, if I feel I’ve become too comfortable, or maybe I’m not giving or receiving all that I can or should be, or that I have sufficiently discovered important lessons I feel I was meant to learn…then I need to go someplace else to find new challenges and opportunities to grow. That being stated of course it can be natural to still miss that place when you’re gone, but thats what visits and vacations are for! And needless to say you don’t have to stop growing in one place, just because I left Wisconsin doesn’t mean I know everything there is to know there,..it just means I reached a point when I couldn’t grow any more, so I needed to take a break from it.

Thats a bit of my mindset right now. My time in Torrox is limited. I have a deadline, a plane ticket, a pending farewell.
I’ve made the decision to leave Spain and Europe, which is seemed crazy by some, because I know that my time is up and I feel I’ve learned what it is I needed to learn here. I would love to think that touring Europe going to summer music-festivals, more art museums, couch surfing and binge drinking my money away would teach me something or I would look back and think, I made the right choice. But I think that would be a mistake.

I knew before I came, my mission wasn’t to check-list travel ( although I’ve made some pretty incredible trips and have a few more in store yet ) but I wanted to be content, still, and observant. I have been that, and by doing so I have made enormous progress in my own self-development. But living easy, and calm, and simple for so long has stirred up this energy inside me, that I can’t wait to release…its an energy that doesn’t come alive in Torrox anymore nor is it an energy I feel is right for Europe at this time. So I’m leaving. Almost immediately as I can, hopefully putting it to use.

If my plans where formulated and calculated out completely I’d share them, I really would. But they aren’t, and its unlikely they will be, perhaps ever. What I can say, is I have a longing for the Americas, and that doesn’t mean necessarily the U.S..I need a Latin American prescence in my life, and when its not there I feel its like a part of me is missing. So that is where I’m headed. To Latin America, this time to Costa Rica, a place I’ve never been to, but only dreamed about. I’ll speak more about Costa Rica as it draws nearer, but I wanted to just officially make the announcement that:

I leave Madrid, Spain: June 2nd, 2012
I leave Frankfurt, Germany: June 3rd, 2012
I arrive in San Jose, Costa Rica: June 4th, 2012
(Its my 25th birthday on the 13th!! Start planning gifts and surprises! ; )
I arrive back to the United States of America: July 5th, 2012
I leave with my family on a weeks vacation: July 7th, 2012

Then I want to be completely absorbed by all the people and places and things I’ve missed!!!

Its going to be a crazy 6 weeks and then some. And thats probably the best, and most honest way to sum this up.

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